The first day parents begin the process of potty training their toddler can be a day of happiness and trepidation. No more diaper changes is a big incentive to begin the process, but it can be a long and frustrating experience. While you as the parent may be ready, with the potty seat, underwear, books on how to potty train, DVDs and a reward system established for positive reinforcement, you need to make sure you have prepared your child for the big event. It helps them understand that changes are coming and you will be there to help guide them along their way.

First, establish the language or lingo your family will use to describe urinating and defecating with your toddler. It can be the formal terminology or something simple, like “poop” or “pee pee.” Whatever it is, make sure that everyone, including Grandma and Grandpa and any extended family members, know the words so they can also help with the potty process.

Begin by allowing your child to see you use the facilities. Showing them how it is done is much better than just explaining how to potty train. If your child is curious, then have him or her flush the toilet. If it is possible, have someone of the same-sex show your child how to use the potty. Kids learn by imitation, even in the restroom. To potty train boys, it is a great help to have someone who looks like them anatomically to show them what to do.

Give your child a potty chair and make a production of how it is his or her very own big kid chair. Initially, allow your child to sit fully clothed on the potty seat, like it is a regular chair. Let your child to leave the potty chair at any time they want and remember to never force your child to spend time sitting on the chair.

Take your child to the potty chair whenever he or she gives you the signal that they need to evacuate. You will usually have a good idea when they need to go as their facial expressions may change. You may also need to act as a reminder since toddlers tend to get absorbed in what they are doing and only realize they need to go when it is too late.

Refrain from expressing disappointment if your child does not urinate or have a bowel movement in the potty. Never punish your child for potty accidents or for their refusal to sit and use the potty, if he or she is resistant. You put your child at risk for regression by doing so. Try working on building positive toddler behavior by seeking out good advice from family, friends, your doctor, or by researching online. This will lead to toilet training success.

Two suggestions you should try to remember when teaching your child how to potty. First, don’t use pull-up type training pants. They can confuse your child because they are very similar to diapers. Secondly, don’t give your child any liquids within two to three hours before bedtime. That leads to accidents or the need to get up and go potty in the middle of the night.

Elder abuse is a serious problem in America, with 1 out of every 20 senior citizens becoming victims of household or institutional violence. A justice witness in Maryland described the situation as follows: “Many forms of verbal and psychological abuse appear relatively harmless at first, but expand and grow more menacing over time, sometimes gradually and subtly. As victims adapt to abusive behavior, the verbal or psychological tactics can gain a strong ‘foothold’ in victims’ minds, making it difficult for them to recognize the severity of the abuse over time.”

Chances are you have already made the decision to put your mother or father into an institution that can best care for their later life needs. Perhaps you felt guilty about it, but deep down knew you couldn’t handle the stress and time-consumption of being an at-home caregiver. You want to be sure all of your parent’s needs are being met and that he or she is happy, although seniors aren’t always candid about being abused; perhaps out of fear, humiliation, ignorance of the signs, deep depression or the normalization of violence. Therefore, it’s up to you to watch out for symptoms of abusive relationships within the nursing home.

Victims of physical elder abuse often have cuts, bruises or other injuries that do not seem to match with their stories and they may have repeated “accidents.” Often, they appear withdrawn, isolated or confess that they are fearful. Some elders try to communicate using coded language. They may attempt or contemplate suicide or abuse medication and substances. They may be difficult to get along with, suddenly angry or sullen. They may have chronic, non-specific complaints or feel emotionally dependent upon the abuser. Some elders miss doctor’s appointments, delay seeking medical help or show signs of depression or trauma.

If you suspect a family friend is a victim of emotional, physical, financial or neglectful elder abuse, then you should call your local Adult Protective Services agency. Victims often suddenly “sign over the power of attorney” and have their homes sold for quick cash or have all their possessions given away while they are still in a care facility. Seniors may have bed sores, be malnourished or act withdrawn. They may forget medication or miss their doctor’s appointments. The abuser will try to speak for your friend and try to prevent you from speaking with him or her. Isolation is the leading factor contributing to abuse of the elderly, so play an active role in your friend’s life and don’t be afraid to call for help or advice.

Knowing when to start feeding your baby solid foods and when to start potty training can leave new parents confused. Many questions pop up in the process, such as when to start solids. Should you make homemade baby food? How much is enough? To help you weave your way, let’s look at some food guidelines for infants and toddlers. We will cover the when, what and how much questions you may have about feeding your child up to the age of 3.

In nearly all healthy children, the recommended age to start solid foods is 4 to 6 months. Age is just one criterion for readiness, though. Your baby’s motor skills and stage of development will also help determine when he or she is ready. Does he have sleep issues? Hunger may be the culprit. He should be capable of holding his head up and should no longer have the reflex, which causes them to push anything but liquid out of their mouths.

What is on the menu for baby’s first meal? Rice cereal is a customary and safe first food, but most babies can tolerate a variety of foods like rice cereal, vegetables, fruits and meat. While meat is often reserved for older infants, some experts feel there is no reason to wait.

How do you know how much is enough? The first few weeks of eating solid foods is more about becoming accustomed to spoon-feeding than meeting nutritional needs. Your baby is learning to negotiate food. Don’t expect your child to eat more than one or two teaspoons at a time during the first week or so.

Older infants may try to feed themselves. It means messy meals, but letting your child feed himself encourages the development of his fine motor skills. Around the 1-year mark, give your baby water, breast milk or formula from a cup they can sip from.

As a parent, you need to realize and respect that babies are born knowing how much food they need. Encouraging your child to override their natural urge to eat when hungry and stop when full may promote eventual overeating that leads to an unhealthy weight, sleep and potty learning issues, and possibly poor toddler behavior. To know if you are feeding your baby enough, look for some of these telltale signs, like spitting out every spoonful you manage to get in his mouth, swatting at the spoon or pursing his lips tight when the spoon comes his way.

After he reaches age 2, your child can have the same foods the rest of the family eats; just make sure the food is healthy. Feeding your baby meals that include a great mix of whole grains, lean protein, reduced-fat dairy foods, and fruits and vegetables that are cut up so your child can chew and swallow them safely is a great way to promote lifelong, healthy eating habits.

The surest way to help others is to first take care of you first. Self-care is essential to recharging ourselves so that we can have enough energy, creativity, love, and joy to give to others. It is only when we do that that we can really be helpful to others who need us. While you selflessly help others, you could easily neglect your own physical, emotional and spiritual needs and be of no help to anyone. Many caregivers falsely believed that if they do something for themselves they are taking something away from others. In fact, what happened was that I had less of me to give.

By  taking care of yourself first, taking the time to exercise, delegating more and spending some time to yourself, you will became more resourceful, develop more patience and be more productive. Care giving will become less stressful and more satisfying for all.

It’s important that you look for ways to nurture yourself. There are many ways to take care of you while taking care of others, below are just a few:

What are some ways that you can take better care of yourself? Here are some key methods:

You may need to schedule a day off each week or set aside an hour for yourself every day to make sure this happens. Do those things that nurtures your mind, body and spirit. If its not an emergency then go and enjoy your time off. Let the answering machine take your messages and free your mind and don’t feel guilty about needing this time to yourself.

Make sure that you remain connected to other people that are important in your life other than the person you are providing care for. Make the time to phone a friend or relative or send a card to someone you love during down times. Take in a movie, play or some other event that you enjoy as much as possible.

Take care of your physical needs by eating properly and exercising. Drink lots of water. Exercising for 20 to 30 minutes a day can make a big difference in your energy level and sense of balance. Don’t worry about exercising for long periods of time; just make sure you put forth maximum effort during those 20 to 30 minutes a day. Enjoy yourself; go do something fun.

You need rest to make you feel more energized. A good night’s rest is essential and it will make you more efficient during your waking hours.

Knowing when to say no and when to set limits is a critical skill in taking care of you. It is ok to let others know that you have reached a point when you are stretched to your limit. It is healthy to allow acknowledge this to others and trust them to help out with the situation.

Do something special just for yourself. You deserve to pamper yourself on a regular basis. Get a manicure, a pedicure or soak in a candle lit bubble bath. Change the things about yourself you can and forget the rest.

Take care of your spiritual needs. Caring for others can be draining over time. Keep fresh and positive thoughts running through your mind? Meditate, read scriptures or uplifting quotes. Keep a journal and learn to listen to the voice of your heart.

Give yourself time to just relax and be carefree every once in a while and not have to be responsible for a moment. Do something out of the ordinary.

Learn to control the things that you can and to let little insignificant go. If something is out of your control or you don’t have enough time to tend to every detail—don’t stress! Often times, the small stuff can build up and we begin to feel overwhelmed; recognize when it’s okay not to attend to a matter and let it go.

Only you know what special treatment is best for you, but the ideas mentioned above should get you started.

In order to take care of others, requires you to take care of yourself.

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Maxcine C. Maxfield, PhD, APRN, BC
http://maxfieldgrp.com
Dr. Maxfield has first hand knowledge and experience in training care givers.
For Additional information and products click on www.maxfieldgrp.com
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